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authorMelody Horn <melody@boringcactus.com>2021-02-16 02:19:55 -0700
committerMelody Horn <melody@boringcactus.com>2021-02-16 02:19:55 -0700
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+title: Every President Sucked
+(Not exhaustive; based on cursory readings of parts of [Wikipedia articles](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Presidencies_of_the_United_States).)
+Washington thought it was morally acceptable to own human beings as property.
+Adams signed the [Alien and Sedition Acts](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alien_and_Sedition_Acts), which were xenophobic and authoritarian.
+Jefferson thought it was morally acceptable to own human beings as property.
+Madison thought it was morally acceptable to own human beings as property.
+Monroe thought it was morally acceptable to own human beings as property.
+Quincy Adams thought partisanship could be solved by appointing his enemies to office (but aside from that he seems pretty decent).
+Jackson thought it was morally acceptable to own human beings as property, and was extremely enthusiastic about Native American genocide.
+Van Buren thought it was morally acceptable to own human beings as property.
+Harrison thought it was morally acceptable to own human beings as property.
+Tyler thought it was morally acceptable to own human beings as property.
+Polk thought it was morally acceptable to own human beings as property.
+Taylor thought it was morally acceptable to own human beings as property.
+Fillmore signed the Compromise of 1850, which had numerous elements which propagated slavery, and wound up attached to the Know-Nothing Party.
+Pierce supported the illegitimate pro-slavery government of the Kansas Territory.
+Buchanan encouraged the Supreme Court's decision in *Dred Scott v Sandford* that the Constitution does not apply to Black people.
+- ran on a platform of allowing slavery to continue in the states where it already existed
+- reversed Frémont's emancipation order in Missouri in the early months of the Civil War
+- rejected the Radical Republicans' pressure to immediately and uncompromisingly abolish slavery
+- suppressed a Native American uprising
+- was generally a moderate on issues where moderation is unacceptable.
+- opposed federal protections for voting rights of former slaves
+- undermined the work of the Freedmen's Bureau
+- vetoed civil rights protections
+- generally did everything he could to fuck up Reconstruction.
+- gave amnesty to former Confederates that allowed them to hold government office
+- signed the Comstock Act which suppressed both educational and erotic speech about sex
+- appointed zero Native Americans to the Board of Indian Commissioners
+- approved of the erasure of Native culture
+- started treating Native tribes as subordinate to the US instead of independent and sovereign
+- sent the military in to suppress strikes
+- continued Grant's cultural assimilation of Native Americans
+- opened the door for immigration restrictions based on country of origin
+- felt gross about racial political equality
+- fucking died lmfao get rekt
+- restricted immigration in some racist & ableist ways
+- gave us the "public charge rule" that's used to deny immigration rights to people who might rely on welfare
+- strengthened federal territory polygamy bans (fuck the Mormons, but like. my polyamorous ass would prefer to have my options open)
+- opened up Native American reservations to settlers
+- fucked up the linear timeline of presidents
+- vetoed a bunch of welfare
+- didn't enforce civil rights protections
+- fucked over Chinese immigrants
+- approached relationship with Native Americans as guardianship, not diplomacy
+- sent in the military to break up a railroad strike, killing 30 people
+- approved of the Supreme Court's "separate but equal" decision in Plessy v Ferguson
+- didn't do anything about the Wounded Knee Massacre
+- opened more Native American land to settlers
+- tried to annex Hawaii, backed a coup against the queen, recognized the illegitimate government
+- didn't bother enforcing antitrust laws
+- didn't bother opposing Jim Crow laws
+- finished the annexation of Hawaii
+- fucked everything up after kicking Spain's ass in the Spanish-American War:
+ - ignored the independent government in Cuba, set up a military government instead
+ - went to war with the independent government in the Philippines, sent Taft to take over
+ - set up military governments in Puerto Rico and Guam, left them with "unincorporated territory" status so people who live there don't have full constitutional rights
+- generally an imperialist dipshit
+- lmao Czołgosz got his ass, pour one out for a real one
+- didn't really do much good for civil rights
+- more imperialism
+- shenanigans around the construction of the Panama Canal
+- more racist immigration bullshit
+- caved to racists demanding positions be filled with white people
+- more racist immigration bullshit
+- fuckery in Nicaragua
+- lots of racism
+- drafting people for WW1
+- oppressing dissent against WW1, including fucking over Eugene V. Debs
+- did i mention the racism
+- the dude literally supported segregation
+- like. he told Black military members "segregation is not a humiliation but a benefit, and ought to be so regarded by you gentlemen."
+- constantly intervening in Latin American governments
+- sent troops to fuck with the Bolsheviks mid-Revolution
+- didn't recognize the Russian Soviet Republic
+- and also the racism
+- bullshit immigration restrictions
+- opposed federal unemployment benefits
+- opposed racial integration socially
+- kept Wilson's segregation
+- rolled back antitrust stuff
+- lots of corruption and scandal
+- more fuckin immigration restrictions
+- avoiding antitrust enforcement
+- proto-supply-side trickle-down tax cuts
+- enforced Prohibition
+- fucked up response to the Great Depression
+- removed Black leaders from the Republican party to court racists in the South
+- more goddamn immigration bullshit! kicking out Mexican-American citizens! ethnic cleansing!
+- sent the Army in to fuck up some veterans who were protesting for prompt payment
+- Japanese internment
+- immigration fuckery
+- not accepting Jewish refugees
+- nuking Japan
+- purged communist sympathizers
+- CIA coups in Iran and Guatemala
+- pretended Castro didn't exist
+- mass deportations
+- didn't stop McCarthy
+- started COINTELPRO
+- wasn't really on board with desegregation
+- institutional homophobia
+- invasion of Vietnam, with all the attending war crimes and bullshit
+- Bay of Pigs Invasion
+- CIA fuckery all over the place in opposition to leftism
+- military alliance with a post-Suez-Crisis expansionist Israel
+- took a while to start proactively protecting civil rights
+- expansion of Vietnam War
+- spying on anti-war movement
+- fuckery in Dominican Republic
+- i mean. c'mon. he's mainly remembered for Watergate, the scandal so big we name all our other scandals after it.
+- opposed to forced integration
+- prosecuted the Chicago Seven
+- suppressed the Pentagon Papers
+- let Kissinger do heinous Kissinger shit in Cambodia
+- fucked over Allende, supported Pinochet's bullshit oppressive regime
+- didn't end the Vietnam War
+- pardoned Nixon
+- fucked over Vietnam, presumably butthurt that the US lost
+- kept Kissinger around
+- supplied Indonesia for its invasion of East Timor and fuckery therein
+- didn't die
+- opposed universal health care
+- continued support for oppressive regimes in Saudi Arabia, Iran, etc
+- sheltered the Shah of Iran from justice
+- fucked up the rescue mission in the Iran hostage crisis
+- racism
+- supply-side economics
+- anti-communism
+- put Scalia on the supreme court
+- recovered from an assassination attempt
+- broke the air traffic controller strike
+- heightened the war on drugs
+- didn't take AIDS or gay rights seriously
+- propped up oppressive regimes in Latin America
+- Iran-Contra
+- allied with apartheid South Africa
+- didn't retract nomination of Clarence Thomas after Anita Hill spoke out
+- invaded Panama to overthrow the CIA stooge who had previously been in charge
+- sent Kissinger to negotiate with China
+- tried to make it illegal to burn the flag
+- pardoned the Iran-Contra people
+- welfare reform (the bad kind)
+- deregulated banking, energy, and telecom
+- settled for "don't ask don't tell"
+- signed DOMA
+- extended copyright
+- workplace sexual misconduct
+- mass incarceration
+- lied about WMDs in Iraq
+- "war on terror"
+- Patriot Act
+- Abu Ghraib
+- Gitmo
+- blamed Israeli-Palestinian tension on the Palestinians
+- fucked up the response to Hurricane Katrina
+- doesn't care about black people
+- tried to privatize Social Security
+- frequent use of sanctions as warfare
+- let the feds do a bunch of evil shit in Ferguson etc
+- did not withdraw from Iraq and Afghanistan
+- prevented UN from calling for a Palestinian state
+- increased aid to Israel
+- didn't close Gitmo
+- extensive drone strikes, lots of civilian casualties, blew up a damn hospital, extrajudicially murdered a US citizen on purpose
+- continued supporting Saudi Arabia despite fuckin heinous shit
+- mass surveillance, defense of PRISM, extension of the Patriot Act
+- war on whistleblowers (Manning and Snowden should both have been pardoned fuckin instantly)
+- fucktons of deportation
+- bro do i even gotta list this shit
+Biden, for the like month he's been in there so far
+- backed down from $2000 fuckin instantly
+- appointed a bunch of liberal centrist dipshits in his cabinet
+- he's a goddamn rapist
+- let Fauci keep his job after lying to the public about COVID
+happy (slightly late) presidents' day!